Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Snowboarding! (or more aptly called Why won't my body do what I want it to?

The family all came to Utah this holiday season. It was great, chaotic and fun! One day Kris and her kids and the Ford family went up to Solitude to meet the Dover family who was staying there for Christmas. The kids all had fun with each other, but this post is not about the holiday togetherness, which I am sure I will post more about later, no this post is about how what I loser I am when it comes to physical activities.
And by the way, I posted this picture cause I think it is really good, and I am just that narcissistic, I purposefully don't post pictures that are awful of me, and 9 times out of 10 they are, I am not saying anything deeper psychological about myself, I am just not photogenic.
Anywho, enough rambling. Rebecca wanted to try snowboarding, and since my husband is an avid snowboarder and I have all the gear already, I thought I would try a class with her. Kris being a good sport joined too. I do have to say that the class was a lot of fun, doing it with my sisters provided a lot of laughs. We practiced a lot on a little hill that we had to walk up, and yea that was tiring, but I was having fun. I started to think "hey I can do this, I can become a snowboarder". Then we took the ski lift up to the first bunny hill, and oh yea, I biffed it getting off the lift. I biffed it hard. Like cartwheeled over myself, with only one foot strapped in. yea it hurt. The rest of the hill was not much better, super painful. At one point I sat down, not because I fell but because I was so tired!
And sure I got back up and tried again, and I went back up the lift and tried again, but I was left with this overwhelming sense of failure. Now dear readers don't feel like I need a reassuring pat on the shoulder that is not what this is about. I just started thinking about all the things I do in my life, and yes most of it is crafts, and yes people tell me I am talented, but I stink at physical activities, and what a wall this is for me to realize that I genuinely suck at things. Sure I have said a lot of times that everyone has a different talent and I am okay with admitting what is and what isn't my talent, but to then take it a step further and say I am horrible and awful at something. Whew I don't know if the thought exhausts me or relieves me, but it is weird to think that. Also I can not even get up on water skis, try as I might, no way and don't get me started on the wake board. And I know some of you out there say - if you try hard enough you can learn anything, and sure that is the attaboy speech, but I think I am just not made for it. I have no grace, or coordination. But please don't get all feathered up, I will try again, I will not give up on trying to snowboard, especially since my husband loves it so, I just need baby steps, and a lot of practice.
But I will do it, or at least I am trying to commit in writing that I won't give up, but it just feels like kind of a break through to me to realize my limitations, to be so utterly frustrated by them to want to keep trying but to be so tired that I can not physically go on. I guess I don't hit very many walls like that in my life, no not because I am awesome (well maybe I am a little) but mostly likely because I probably don't put myself out there enough. (I don't think I could hedge anymore on this - yikes!) I think my brain is getting stagnant from not varying up my activities, not stretching myself enough. So no I don't believe in New Years resolutions, (cause who wants to be disappointed?) But I guess I just inadvertently set one for myself. How about that?

1 comment:

  1. your to funny.. you did great.. give yourself credit..it was hard.. way hard!! :) We will do it again!!

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